A friend posted a poem, You Men, on Facebook recently (scroll past the Spanish version to read the English text)
with the following comment: English version underneath. Its only 350 years old.
We've come on rapidly haven't we?
On the site it said that the author was, “…an exceptional
seventeenth-century nun who set precedents for feminism long before the term or
concept existed.”
As I read the poem I could feel the anger and frustration of
this woman. The underlying sentiment was that women cannot win one way or
another. That, in fact, they are subjected to the decisions of men who don’t even realize the
impact their decisions and actions have on women and ultimately
themselves. Fair point. Especially given
the day and age it was written in. I also cannot dismiss the relevance of this
sentiment today.
That said the post made me pause. The friend who posted the
poem is male. I wondered if he loathed himself and/or men as much as this woman
did. I wondered whether he was able to see the part we all share in the disempowerment of women.
Working on women’s rights I have been exposed to people who
blame men for the disempowerment of women. I agree that men play a part in this
and yet, it concerns me when the role women play in our disempowerment is not
recognized as well.
Working to end violence against women is tough. Men need to
become self-aware of the power they have, due to our patriarchal society, to disempower
women. They also need to recognize the role they play in reinforcing a system
that denies men to live a holistic experience which allows them to express themselves
in a healthy way.
Women need to become aware of how deeply the patriarchal
system influences them and how they reinforce the system that discriminates against
them. They also need to break free from it without violence and with
compassion. To be hostile towards men and to lack compassion only contributes
to the emotional and structural violence[1]
imposed by patriarchy. It’s not an easy
thing to do but it is important nonetheless.
Ending violence against women requires all of us to
acknowledge how we all contribute to it. We need to acknowledge the impact
violence against women has on men. We also need to brainstorm on how to address
it within our situational contexts. We need to have dialogues with each other
to understand what the root causes are. We need to practice forgiveness not
only with others but more importantly with ourselves.
We all, women and men, have a role we play in the
disempowerment and empowerment of women.
[1]
“Structural/Cultural/Direct Violence-Johan Galtung.” Turning The Tide, http://turning-the-tide.org/files/Structural%20Cultural%20Direct%20Violence%20Hand-out.pdf
